Thursday, April 17, 2008

Q & A: "when I see a girl I like, I can't talk to her"

Name: Daniel
City: California
Question: Hi, I'm a 19 yr. male who's been too busy with school and work to try to meet girls I like, but now I would like to venture into this. My problem is, I'm incredibly shy! Shy to the point that, when I see a girl I like, I can't talk to her, and sometimes I even walk away from them whenever I see them! I've been told to simply gather my courage and "just talk to them," but doesn't that seem a little rushed? Won't teenage girls nowadays simply be frightened by such blatant shows of friendship from strangers? I'm not sure how to approach girls at all; any help would be appreciated! Oh, and where do people of my age meet girls? The only place I can think of is school; the beach is definitely out, since I don't look good...

Hi Daniel,

The best way to make others be attracted to you is to truly believe that you're attractive and worthy within yourself. I'm not saying to be arrogant, but have self-confidence and know within yourself that you have a lot to offer and that you will treat the right person like an equal, a friend, and a star. As for approaching girls, just be comfortable within yourself, look her in the eyes, and Smile...The rest will fall into place. As for places to meet women, there's no magic spot - You can meet the woman of your dreams simply by walking down the street, so it can happen anytime, anyplace. Try not to concentrate on How/Where, but be settled within yourself, know that you have excellent qualities and that you have tons to offer, and be friendly and sincere...I hope this helps you, and please spread the word about the site...Good luck.


Name: Sarah
Question: My name is Sarah and I'm 14 yrs. old. For the past 3 yrs. I've had to live with my grandma. The reason for this is that when I was younger my parents got a divorce when I was younger. From then on I lived with my Mom but 3 years ago she moved to San Antonio and made me move in with my grandmother since I didn't wanna move with her. The reason she didn't want me to live with my dad was because of my stepmother. I'm only aloud to go over there if my grandma is out of town and I'm always supposed to try to find a friend to stay with and use my dad's house if I can't stay with anyone. Well, my stepmom and I usually get along but there are things that we argue about. This past weekend I had to spend the day there. My dad and I decided to sit outside for a while before he took me home, so we did. My stepmom was out there with us. I didn't mind it at all until I really started to want to go home. That's when she told me just go home it's not like u live here anymore. The thing is that no matter what that was the house that I lived in for 9 yrs of my life until she came and I was forced to move out. This remark hurt me really bad and it's not the first time that she's said it. I'm tired of putting up with it and my dad doesn't say any thing about it and usually blames it on me. I love my dad and grandmother to death and don't wanna leave them, but lately my stepmom has been making me so mad that I've been thinking about moving up to San Antonio with my Mom. I really don't wanna leave because I've just started school and I'm making a lot of new friends but it hurts so much to go to a house that used to be mine and be told there that it doesn't matter because I don't live there any more. My question is should I leave here and go with my Mom or should I just stay and try to ignore what my stepmom says?

Sarah
Age 14

Dear Sarah,

Hi there...Thanks for writing. This is a really crummy situation to be in. I can't tell if you have, but you might be best served by talking about this with both your Father and Stepmom. Tell them both how that comment makes you feel and really let them know how deeply it affects you. Ask them plainly and straight to not make jokes about that anymore as it only makes you want to leave. Actually, first go to your father and tell him that you want to sit down with him and his wife and lay this out on the table. That way, he'll better understand your position. Tell him that you love him (and your stepmom if you do) and that you want to stay and make them a good part of your life. Your father has to understand what a tough situation you're in with both your parents not around you. But let me say this - running to San Antonio will not solve anything. If you sit down with them and afterwards still feel like moving to San Antonio, then that's fine. But if you go there just to run away from a problem, then you'll be more likely to run the next time you face difficulty...and that's no way to live a life. I hope that it works out well for you...you certainly deserve to be happy. I wish you the best of luck, and take care of yourself.


Name: Ginny
Question: My only child, Mike, and his wife live just a few blocks away. They are both very friendly and nice to us. They have been married 5 years. But in the last few years, they don't drop by to see us at all unless it's an occasion or someone's birthday. Mike has a good relationship with his dad and they play tennis together all the time, but I hardly ever see him. He just calls his dad to talk sports. My husband says don't complain because I will be considered high maintenance, but I get more and more hurt all the time and just want to ask her what I've done and why they ignore me. Thanks so much for your help!!

Hi Ginny,

I'm curious...You mention you're hurt by your son's actions, but you want to talk to his wife about it? Try this...ask your son to spend some time with you...Ask him to go shopping with you or to help you with something. Instead of being hurt (I'm not saying you're wrong for feeling hurt, but never settle for being a victim), make him and his wife a part of your life. Try to create some doubles competition in tennis so the four of you can play together...try to spend some time with the wife in your hobbies. You can always make them a part of your life instead of waiting for them to ask you to be a part of theirs. I hope this helps, and best of luck to you...

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