Thursday, April 17, 2008

Q & A: "I'm pretty sure she likes me but she's got a boyfriend!"

Name: Jennifer
City: Bayonne
Question: Me and my boy friend have been going out for a month and 3 days. I'm only 16 and this becoming to be a serious relationship... and I find myself not being happy anymore with him... like everything started off ok but now I am starting to have mixed feelings about him. The littlest things are making me annoyed with him... and I find myself giving him a really bad attitude. Can u help!!!! Jennie*

Hi Jennie,

Thanks for writing...Sometimes things like this happens. Either you are spending too much time together where you're not able to feel like yourself, or you two need to learn a lot more about each other, rather than just hanging out. I have a suspicion it's a combination of the two. Relationships require work...if you really want to be with him, and you think it's worth it, then you two have to work at keeping things fresh and wonderful for both of you. Every day doesn't have to be "epic", but there should be some unconscious tones of meaningfulness underlying your time together. I'm worried that you're already having such issues after a month....But then again, your whole life is ahead of you. Enjoy things and take it one step at a time. I hope this helps, and please spread the word about the site...thanks so much for visiting!

Name: Danielle
City: Cincinnati
Question: There is this guy and I like him and he's really cool and he was supposed to ask me out but he started going out with this other girl and then told my friend he was going to brake up with her for me. Then I found out about his girlfriend and all this other stuff and I got mad and he got mad because he didn't want me to be mad so my friend told him if he left me hanging now I was gone for good because I don't like to wait around for guys and then he said ok I'll give her a chance and I'll dump my girl friend but I don't know what to think I really like him and he keeps telling all my friend s he really likes me and he talks like he does and he is going to break up with his girlfriend for me but what am I missing what is wrong I can't be happier but I don't know if this is pity or not I just don't know anymore.
Hi Danielle,

The best way to avoid all of this confusion is to actually talk to this boy...face to face. What are you going to do if you start dating each other? Bring someone else along who the both of you can use as a translator? Get right to the point and find out what's going on between the two of you...However, keep in mind that if he already has a girlfriend he's willing to hurt to be with you, then you run the chance that someday he'll do the same thing to you with another prospect. Always be careful and make sure you're safe. I wish you the best of luck...

Name: Justin
Question: There's this angel I know, she is beautiful, interesting, fun to be around, and she is a year older than me (I'm 16) She has been flirting with me for three weeks and is getting closer and closer to me as a friend. She obviously likes me, (in some way) I've called her 3 times and she and I talk for a long time. I recently found out that she has a boyfriend, she didn't just now get him, she and him have been going out for some time now. Is this reason for alarm? I'm pretty sure she likes me but she's got a boyfriend! Is she wanting to switch from him to me soon, and how can I tell?

Hi Justin,

That one's hard to tell...Some women come across flirtatiously when they feel comfortable with a boy. She obviously likes you as a friend from what I can tell, as that's a very good step. Is she going to drop her boyfriend for you? Who knows? If you are interested in her for the long-term, then be close to her as a friend... She'll need that more than a simple boyfriend in the grand scheme of things, anyway. This doesn't mean for you to sit idly by while she enjoys herself, but simply be there for her and still live your life as well. Spend time with her, but don't stifle yourself and your prospects with others. It sounds like you really like her, so she might be worth the wait for now, but don't make a life-long obsession over it. Be her friend...she'll be yours. If something grows from that, then good for both of you... if not, then at least you both are still friends and you still have an Angel you can talk to. Good Luck, and hope this helps...

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