City: New Smyrna
Question: I'M 16 AND I'VE BEEN WITH MY BOYFRIEND FOR 13 MONTHS WHICH IS 19. RECENTLY HE JUST MOVED I STILL GET TO SEE HIM A FEW TIMES A WEEK AND I'M HAPPY WITH HIM AND LOVE HIM, THE ONLY THING IS THIS OTHER GUY HAS STARTED TO CALL ME AND WE'VE BEEN HANGING OUT. HE'S 21 AND HAS THE GREATEST PERSONALITY. WHO DO I CHOOSE, AND DOES HE ONLY WANT SEX BECAUSE I'M SO YOUNG? MEAGAN
These guys are using you for one thing only - and that is sex. You could be the nicest, most wonderful young woman in the world who has a great future - All they see is a young girl they can manipulate to their own needs and who ultimately is disposable. Young guys who date much younger women are always using the relationship as a source of control and security. They have a much easier time having a relationship that they can dictate with a younger person than they can with someone their own age. In reality, they probably have a very difficult time getting a date with someone their own age as they are most likely seen as immature, geeky, or as a loser. Luckily for them, younger girls like yourself seem to miss those aspects as it's cool that someone older (supposedly to be more respected, wiser, and cooler) finds you attractive and wants to be with you. Cut off all physical ties (No sex), and I'm extremely confident they will leave you in record time.
Get some self-respect and see these people as the manipulative losers that they are...People their own age have already seen it and that's why they have to keep searching for younger and younger people so they can hopefully have some influence on. Oh, and I forgot one thing - The whole thing is illegal in most states and morally just Wrong. Find yourself and build upon what it is that makes you so unique. Learn to respect yourself and you'll never allow yourself to be used like this again...hope this helps, and take care.
Name: Chow Winnie
City: Hong Kong
Question: My boyfriend was a bit drunk, while I was driving, he screamed at me. I already told him to stop but he carried on. At that time I slapped him wanting to calm him down, he slapped me back. He ran off and refuse to talk to me, because he said if I did that once I would have do it again next time. I love him so much that I really need him back. What can I do to make him believe me that will not happen again?
Greetings to Hong Kong! Don't forget the circumstances that lead to this incident...He was drinking too much, screaming at you, you were sober (hopefully, that's why you were the one driving), he wouldn't listen to reason, you slapped him to try and give him pause to stop screaming, he hits you back (no good reason for that - ever), and then he blames the whole incident on you...How convenient for him. If he wants to avoid this same situation in the future, all he has to do is be a man and take responsibility...That means not drinking too much. No one is forcing him to drink to excess where is causes complications/scenarios like this in his relationships. He's the one in control whenever he lifts that bottle to his mouth. Nip it now or he might be facing a long-term drinking problem where he'll have less control by the day. If you think he needs alcohol counseling, try to get him some...If not, then he has to really take control of his own actions and not blame his girlfriend for his own foolishness. Hope this helps, and best of luck to you...